A collection of wonderful jokes that will make you laugh:
The Old Man and the Policeman:
An elderly gentleman is driving along the highway when he suddenly sees the lights of a police car behind him.
The policeman stops him and says:
“Sir, I was going 140 km/h in an 80 km/h zone. Any reason for such a rush?”
The old man looks at him and replies:
“You see, officer… years ago, my wife ran away with a policeman. And when I saw the lights of his police car, I thought he was getting her back.”
The Genie and the Wise Man:
A man was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. He rubbed it, and a genie appeared.
“I’ll grant you one wish, but only one!”
The man, excited, took out a map and said:
“I want peace in the world. No wars, and all countries getting along.”
The genie looks at the map, sighs, and says:
“Ugh… that’s too complicated. Don’t you have another wish?”
The man thinks and says:
“Well… then I want to understand women.”
The genie remains silent, looks at him, and replies:
“Give me that map again…”
The Parrot and the Thief:
A thief breaks into a house in the middle of the night and, while he’s stealing, hears a voice say:
“Jesus is watching you!”
The thief gets scared, shines his flashlight, and sees that the voice is coming from a parrot in a cage.
“Did you say that?” asks the thief.
“Yes, I did.”
The thief laughs and says:
“And what’s your name?”
“My name is Moses.”
The thief mocks:
“What kind of person calls a parrot Moses?”
The parrot replies:
“The same kind of person Jesus calls a Rottweiler.”
At that moment, he hears a growl behind him.
The distracted husband:
A man runs into the supermarket and desperately asks the cashier:
“Sir, hurry! Where do they sell the roses?”
The cashier replies:
“In the back, next to the flower section.”
The man runs and comes back with a bouquet of roses in his hand. Then he asks:
“And the chocolates?”
“In the candy section, on the right.”
The man runs, grabs a box of chocolates, and runs back panting.
The cashier, curious, says:
“Anniversary?”
“No… I forgot to turn down the football and my wife is just waking up!”